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No offense but...*

I had two really great workouts this weekend.  Saturday I did a 5K (on the treadmill).  I didn’t run the whole way, but ran most of it at a faster pace – from 10.20 to 10.00 – than I’ve been doing.  And yesterday I did a quick 1.5 mile warm-up, after which Eric showed me some weight-lifting moves: the deadlift, bench press, rows, and weighted squats, etc.

Two really great workouts.  Yet at least once during each workout I got really frustrated with myself.  Saturday, about a mile into the run, I got so overheated and nauseated I had to pause the machine and run to the restroom.  I didn’t end up puking, but I really thought I would.  I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I was frustrated that it seemed to take so little to make me feel so sick.  How am I going to improve if I can’t even run a mile without getting nauseated?  (And yeah, I know I’ve done it before, but all I could think about was what was happening right then.)  I did get back on the treadmill and finish the planned 5K, but with plenty of walking breaks.  I left the gym pissed off.  But then I started thinking about it.  I had to run to the restroom because I thought I was going to puke.  I felt like crap.  But I got back on and finished my run.  That’s what matters.  Perspective!

Sunday, I got nauseated again about a mile in.  (Why does this keep happening?  Thoughts?)  But since I knew I was only doing a short run, I wasn’t too worried about it.  I was pretty excited to meet Eric in the weight room and learn some new badass moves.  But, geez, I don’t know if it was the run or I’m weaker than I realized, but I was so shaky!  I could only do 3 bench presses (with a 45 pound bar – no added weights!).  I was able to do the deadlifts and squats pretty well, but of course all I could think about was how weak my arms felt.  I did some other smaller moves: triceps kickbacks, rows, and some ab work, but kept focusing on how much I sucked at bench presses.

I tried to play it off and not act frustrated, but Eric could probably tell I was annoyed with myself.  We were talking about ways I can modify bench presses until I build more strength (especially since I’ll be doing them without a spotter from now on).  Then he said, “you’re going to have so much fun since you have so far to go!”  And it’s true!  When I first started running, I was frustrated I wasn’t automatically good.  But really I’ve had a blast pushing myself and seeing progress.  And I know if I put in the same effort with weights, I’ll see the same kind of progress.  Perspective! Maybe being a beginner isn’t so bad!

Then … last night and part of today … my back was KILLING ME.  The scary, awful numb-down-my-leg, I-can’t-bend-or-twist-or-do-anything-without-wincing kind of pain.  It’s been disheartening to say the least.  I don’t know if it was the running or the weights, but something really tested my back.  I am feeling a little better tonight, but still pretty bummed.  This whole back thing – it’s another post for another time – but I’m trying to apply the same kind of perspective here as I did to those workouts.

Maybe I will never be a marathoner.  I know I will have to run/walk the 5K in a few weeks.  I will need stay flexible and adjust my workouts in a way that protects my back.  That doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a hard pill to swallow.  I want to be hardcore and push myself to the limits.  I don’t want my limits to be so short.  These are legitimate feelings.  But …

It’s pretty freaking amazing I’m even walking right now, let alone running or lifting weights.  I am very fortunate. 

*Source

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