I had two really great workouts this weekend. Saturday I did a 5K (on the treadmill). I didn’t run the whole way, but ran most of it at a faster pace – from 10.20 to 10.00 – than I’ve been doing. And yesterday I did a quick 1.5 mile warm-up, after which Eric showed me some weight-lifting moves: the deadlift, bench press, rows, and weighted squats, etc.
Two really great workouts. Yet at least once during each workout I got really frustrated with myself. Saturday, about a mile into the run, I got so overheated and nauseated I had to pause the machine and run to the restroom. I didn’t end up puking, but I really thought I would. I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I was frustrated that it seemed to take so little to make me feel so sick. How am I going to improve if I can’t even run a mile without getting nauseated? (And yeah, I know I’ve done it before, but all I could think about was what was happening right then.) I did get back on the treadmill and finish the planned 5K, but with plenty of walking breaks. I left the gym pissed off. But then I started thinking about it. I had to run to the restroom because I thought I was going to puke. I felt like crap. But I got back on and finished my run. That’s what matters. Perspective!
Sunday, I got nauseated again about a mile in. (Why does this keep happening? Thoughts?) But since I knew I was only doing a short run, I wasn’t too worried about it. I was pretty excited to meet Eric in the weight room and learn some new badass moves. But, geez, I don’t know if it was the run or I’m weaker than I realized, but I was so shaky! I could only do 3 bench presses (with a 45 pound bar – no added weights!). I was able to do the deadlifts and squats pretty well, but of course all I could think about was how weak my arms felt. I did some other smaller moves: triceps kickbacks, rows, and some ab work, but kept focusing on how much I sucked at bench presses.
I tried to play it off and not act frustrated, but Eric could probably tell I was annoyed with myself. We were talking about ways I can modify bench presses until I build more strength (especially since I’ll be doing them without a spotter from now on). Then he said, “you’re going to have so much fun since you have so far to go!” And it’s true! When I first started running, I was frustrated I wasn’t automatically good. But really I’ve had a blast pushing myself and seeing progress. And I know if I put in the same effort with weights, I’ll see the same kind of progress. Perspective! Maybe being a beginner isn’t so bad!
Then … last night and part of today … my back was KILLING ME. The scary, awful numb-down-my-leg, I-can’t-bend-or-twist-or-do-anything-without-wincing kind of pain. It’s been disheartening to say the least. I don’t know if it was the running or the weights, but something really tested my back. I am feeling a little better tonight, but still pretty bummed. This whole back thing – it’s another post for another time – but I’m trying to apply the same kind of perspective here as I did to those workouts.
Maybe I will never be a marathoner. I know I will have to run/walk the 5K in a few weeks. I will need stay flexible and adjust my workouts in a way that protects my back. That doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. I want to be hardcore and push myself to the limits. I don’t want my limits to be so short. These are legitimate feelings. But …
It’s pretty freaking amazing I’m even walking right now, let alone running or lifting weights. I am very fortunate.