I totally had that poster when I was 10.
I’ve wanted to take up running for a long time. Years even. Planned to start. Talked about starting. Looked up races. Bought running shoes. But … I never actually started running.
I think a big part of what held me back is that I didn’t want to be bad at it. I didn’t want to have to walk, or find out I couldn’t go as far as I planned. I didn’t want to be slow, or look weird with my jaunty gait. I didn’t want to have to start running, I just wanted to be a runner already!
I’m, um, a little … competitive, maybe? Like the most competitive person in the whole world; nobody can be more competitive than me. That kind of competitive. It’s mostly internal. I try not to let it show. Too much. But it’s there. I want to win. Always.
But … I am slow, and awkward, and I have to walk. A lot. I am not good at this running thing yet.
I wasn’t able to do my training Monday or Tuesday. Let me re-phrase that. I didn’t do my training. I stayed up way too late Sunday night, then had to work late both days. I was really tired and focused on work and, well, gave myself a pass.
I did go running this morning. I did NOT want to get up when my alarm went off, but I told myself that I’d be happy I did it. And I was. Even though the run wasn’t all that great – actually, it freaked me out a little bit.
I am so bad at this, you guys!
Let’s take a look at my original training plan, shall we?
I was so confident I could just “pick this up,” no problem. But this morning I had to face the reality that this is going to be harder than I first thought. My job is pretty crazy right now, and I’ll likely have to work overtime indefinitely. I have never tried running before. And, until recently, (as in, the last few weeks), I really haven’t worked out consistently.
I thought about all of this during my run/walk this morning, and decided I needed to take a step back. I am still going to do the 5K in September(!!!), but I’m not going to plan to train for the quarter marathon in October. If anything, I might do another 5K, but for now I am focusing on one goal at a time. I also need to have a more structured plan to build up to a 5K. Instead of just saying I need to run X miles every X days, I am going to switch to the Couch to 5K program – albeit a condensed version since it is usually 9 weeks and I only have 7 1/2 weeks until my race! I still want to build strength, and am going to do more yoga – primarily focusing on my core for better stability.
So, here’s my new and
improved more realistic plan (using the Couch to 5K strategy during my runs):
I talked with Allie about this today – about how frustrating it is to not just be good at it, and how I’m a little nervous about the 5K. I know it’s just 3 miles. And I know I can do it. I just REALLY don’t want to have to walk any part of it.
But, then again, I need to keep in mind my real goal in all of this. Sure, I would love to be some kind of rockstar runner, but my real goal is to create a substantial and lasting lifestyle change – a habit of health and exercise – that I will stick with long after my first 5K. I have to say, I am loving my more active life, and I already feel weird and antsy if I go more than a day without some exercise. I’ve been happier, less stressed, and more energetic. I feel better about my body, even though it is too early for there to be any visual change, just because I appreciate it more. A few years ago I could barely walk, and I didn’t know if I would spend my life in a wheelchair. I was in pain every day. And that could happen again.
So I am grateful for every morning I can wake my ass up at 5:45 a.m. and go running. That is a good thing.